Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Grown Up Ordinary
Most of us have allowed ourselves to settle for "ordinary" lives. We have ordinary jobs, live in ordinary places and spend our time doing ordinary things. It is not entirely our fault, most of our parents are "ordinary" people too. And we are following right in line by creating "ordinary" children.
Now that I have offended everyone, let me see if I can walk this back a bit. I will start by saying ordinary is not in itself a bad thing. "Ordinary" people make huge contributions to society. "Ordinary" people are doctors, nurses, police and fire fighters. They are teachers, ministry workers and parents. They fight for our country and help to build the infrastructure we depend on. "Ordinary" does not mean boring, apathetic or purposeless. I use "ordinary" only to draw a distinction between it and what I term to be the "extraordinary".
This topic (along with another that I may have to release in book form) has been weighing heavily on me lately. Being at somewhat of a crossroads, pondering what to do next in life, a central longing continues to nibble at the edges;
"I want to make a difference".
I spent almost six years pouring myself and my resources into a business. I poured everything I had. But in the end we disappeared from the business landscape of Charlotte without creating as much as a ripple. Our clients, while maybe slightly inconvenienced by our closing, I'm sure found one of the other hundred companies that do basically the same thing that we were doing for them. What seemed so important while entrenched in the day to day turned out to be so "ordinary" with hindsight.
"I don't want to be ordinary."
We were in the car one day and I got a great reminder of how many things Zach hears and interprets (It constantly amazes me that he is only 7 years old and not a teenager). There was a song on the radio by Michale Franti called "Say Hey". There is a line in the song "The more I see the less I know" and Zach wanted to know what that meant. Now I had "heard" that song probably a dozen or more time and never picked up on that lyric. It took me a minute but here was my explanation, "the more you see the less you know means that you may think you know "everything" when you live in your own bubble. But when you start to look outside yourself and your immediate surroundings you realize that it is a big world and every new experience you open your eyes to, opens a host of new questions and adventures to explore. And you realize how little you knew before." I equated it to Zadie and her exploits into learning the world. Right now she is not mobile. She knows the world where we set her. Her crib, the car seat, the swing. When she crawls, that will open up a new window for he to explore. Then there is walking, talking, running, riding bikes, and on and on. Each step she will realize that there is a much bigger world out there than she had ever imagined.
When do we lose the wonder of the world? I think that is what separates the "ordinary" life with an "extraordinary" one.
"Wonder."
da Vinci. Galileo. Newton. Magellan. Washington. Einstein. Shakespeare. Edison. King Jr. Kennedy Jr. And on and on. These were "extraordinary" lives. Galileo gazed at the shadows and craters of the moon and deduced that the Earth was not the center of the universe. Newton sat in a contemplative mood, wondering why an apple that fell from a tree always went straight toward the Earth's center. Eventually this led to his law of gravity. Magellan's crew thought that they were literally going to fall off of the edge of the world at some point during their voyage. Magellan thought differently. John F. Kennedy Jr. boldly stated that we would land a man on the moon within a decade, while the guys at NASA still had no clue as to how to do it. We all know how that turned out. Stories such as these are scattered throughout history and share a common characteristic. They originated from a person or group that had a true sense of wonder and then the ambition and aspiration to achieve solutions to their questions.
"Quest for solutions."
From the time a new baby is brought into the world, they face a daunting series of challenges and obstacles. they hear voices, but do not yet have the muscles in their neck to turn in their direction. They crave mobility when placed on the ground, but they cannot move. They have so much to say, but no words to express themselves. And so it goes. Children see one challenge after another, observe those around them, and with amazing persistence, conquer the task.
This is a process that is rather unique to the human race. In nature, most "babies" are born and within a few weeks and sometimes just days are walking, flying, hunting, launching out on their own. They must, it is the difference between survival and death.
We weren't made that way. We were made vulnerable, in need of protection. We were made to ease into the world. To soak it all in, building our skills, both mental and physical, slowly and with purpose. We are forced, from birth, to "wonder" and achieve. I can't imagine that this is by accident or happenstance. We are built for greatness. We are built to be "extraordinary".
I don't know how to achieve the "extraordinary". But if I stop, look, listen and learn from their examples, I believe I have four little miracles that can help to open my eyes to the prospects of becoming once again "extraordinary".
I will leave you with a clip that speaks to a lesson I want to instill into my children. Also a lesson that I need to re-instill in my own life.
Now that I have offended everyone, let me see if I can walk this back a bit. I will start by saying ordinary is not in itself a bad thing. "Ordinary" people make huge contributions to society. "Ordinary" people are doctors, nurses, police and fire fighters. They are teachers, ministry workers and parents. They fight for our country and help to build the infrastructure we depend on. "Ordinary" does not mean boring, apathetic or purposeless. I use "ordinary" only to draw a distinction between it and what I term to be the "extraordinary".
This topic (along with another that I may have to release in book form) has been weighing heavily on me lately. Being at somewhat of a crossroads, pondering what to do next in life, a central longing continues to nibble at the edges;
"I want to make a difference".
I spent almost six years pouring myself and my resources into a business. I poured everything I had. But in the end we disappeared from the business landscape of Charlotte without creating as much as a ripple. Our clients, while maybe slightly inconvenienced by our closing, I'm sure found one of the other hundred companies that do basically the same thing that we were doing for them. What seemed so important while entrenched in the day to day turned out to be so "ordinary" with hindsight.
"I don't want to be ordinary."
We were in the car one day and I got a great reminder of how many things Zach hears and interprets (It constantly amazes me that he is only 7 years old and not a teenager). There was a song on the radio by Michale Franti called "Say Hey". There is a line in the song "The more I see the less I know" and Zach wanted to know what that meant. Now I had "heard" that song probably a dozen or more time and never picked up on that lyric. It took me a minute but here was my explanation, "the more you see the less you know means that you may think you know "everything" when you live in your own bubble. But when you start to look outside yourself and your immediate surroundings you realize that it is a big world and every new experience you open your eyes to, opens a host of new questions and adventures to explore. And you realize how little you knew before." I equated it to Zadie and her exploits into learning the world. Right now she is not mobile. She knows the world where we set her. Her crib, the car seat, the swing. When she crawls, that will open up a new window for he to explore. Then there is walking, talking, running, riding bikes, and on and on. Each step she will realize that there is a much bigger world out there than she had ever imagined.
When do we lose the wonder of the world? I think that is what separates the "ordinary" life with an "extraordinary" one.
"Wonder."
da Vinci. Galileo. Newton. Magellan. Washington. Einstein. Shakespeare. Edison. King Jr. Kennedy Jr. And on and on. These were "extraordinary" lives. Galileo gazed at the shadows and craters of the moon and deduced that the Earth was not the center of the universe. Newton sat in a contemplative mood, wondering why an apple that fell from a tree always went straight toward the Earth's center. Eventually this led to his law of gravity. Magellan's crew thought that they were literally going to fall off of the edge of the world at some point during their voyage. Magellan thought differently. John F. Kennedy Jr. boldly stated that we would land a man on the moon within a decade, while the guys at NASA still had no clue as to how to do it. We all know how that turned out. Stories such as these are scattered throughout history and share a common characteristic. They originated from a person or group that had a true sense of wonder and then the ambition and aspiration to achieve solutions to their questions.
"Quest for solutions."
From the time a new baby is brought into the world, they face a daunting series of challenges and obstacles. they hear voices, but do not yet have the muscles in their neck to turn in their direction. They crave mobility when placed on the ground, but they cannot move. They have so much to say, but no words to express themselves. And so it goes. Children see one challenge after another, observe those around them, and with amazing persistence, conquer the task.
This is a process that is rather unique to the human race. In nature, most "babies" are born and within a few weeks and sometimes just days are walking, flying, hunting, launching out on their own. They must, it is the difference between survival and death.
We weren't made that way. We were made vulnerable, in need of protection. We were made to ease into the world. To soak it all in, building our skills, both mental and physical, slowly and with purpose. We are forced, from birth, to "wonder" and achieve. I can't imagine that this is by accident or happenstance. We are built for greatness. We are built to be "extraordinary".
I don't know how to achieve the "extraordinary". But if I stop, look, listen and learn from their examples, I believe I have four little miracles that can help to open my eyes to the prospects of becoming once again "extraordinary".
I will leave you with a clip that speaks to a lesson I want to instill into my children. Also a lesson that I need to re-instill in my own life.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
What do you get when you combine 3 Z's, a hose and a pool?
Zane grasped the garden hose and was haphazardly spraying the air in no particular direction, having the time of his life. If any landed in the pool, it was purely happenstance. Zachary fumed and stomped around the pool shouting, pouting and pleading for Zane to fill the pool the "right" way. When Zach did have control of the hose he remained exasperated by the constant cannonballs from his younger brother, leaving little water for the others to enjoy. Zoe stayed far away, avoiding the spray, bemoaning the fact that Zane is "mean and not sharing".
How a $10 pool and the process of filling it shows us a window into their ever developing personalities.
How a $10 pool and the process of filling it shows us a window into their ever developing personalities.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Sound-off Sunday: episode 3
Sound-off Sunday is a concept that I came up during an abnormally loud car ride. The shear volume of the car would have probably cause a normal person to lose their mind, but I realize that it is just part of the soundtrack of our lives. Each Sunday I will share with you an audio recording that will allow you a window into our chaos.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Twin Tuesday part 2
Let me set the scene. Zane came into our bed sometime around 6am and promptly fell back to sleep (thank God). Zoe remained in her (well, actually Zane's) bed.
Julie got up to get Zadie at about 7:30. Zoe was up roaming the hall at this point. Julie returned to our bed with Zadie. When Zane saw that Zoe was up, he climbed down from our bed, walked over to Zoe and they gave each other a hug. They embraced, as if to say, I love you and I missed you.
There is something about the bond that exists between these two that will be so interesting to observe as they grow and mature.
... but the beauty of the moment was quickly erased when after the hug, Zoe announced, "I got poo."
Meandering Monday: volume 2
One of the things you here most from kids struggling with higher level math is "are you really going to have to use this in the real world?" You know, I never heard an answer to that growing up. In my previous job I found myself using things like geometry, algebra, trigonometry all the time to figure things like prices, profit and construction specs.
Now I am back in school, a little wiser of the world and I realize that even the mundane of functions, logarithms, polynomials, radicals, etc, etc, play a role in everyday life. There was a time in our country when school was not completely taught in a classroom. Kids learned math by taking their crops and livestock to the market with their parents learned to add, subtract, multiply and divide through monetary transactions. Now we teach in schools with 20 to 30 kid classrooms and it has forced us to teach to a common denominator. We have reduced math to a series of definitions that must be memorized and regurgitated.
Even as I sit in this college level class, filled with a lot of engineering and pre-med students, we skip the practical applications of what we are doing. Each chapter in the book has a section included that teaches real world practices of the math we are learning. To this point, our professor has skipped all of this. How easy would it be to say, this is the equation you use to keep a building from falling down (or something along those lines).
Now, is this a solution to all of kids frustrations with Math? No. But if you can peak a few more kids interest in the field of Math, (which opens up the world of science) maybe we can stop the downward spiral of our kids math and science scores when compared to the rest of the world.
Now, is this a solution to all of kids frustrations with Math? No. But if you can peak a few more kids interest in the field of Math, (which opens up the world of science) maybe we can stop the downward spiral of our kids math and science scores when compared to the rest of the world.
Sound-off Sunday: episode 2
Sound-off Sunday is a concept that I came up during an abnormally loud car ride. The shear volume of the car would have probably cause a normal person to lose their mind, but I realize that it is just part of the soundtrack of our lives. Each Sunday I will share with you an audio recording that will allow you a window into our chaos.
This is a recording from the car ride leaving church on Sunday. The phrase that is being uttered is "Hey big daddy! Want a house call?" You are probably asking yourself, where in the world would our kids have been exposed to a saying like that. For that, I have to take you back to my college days.
My wife Julie was a psychology major in a speech communication major body. She attempted to reverse the paradigm of men hooting and hollering from a construction site or car window in the direction of an attractive woman. She did this by using the phrase, "Hey big daddy! Want a house call?" yelled from a car window she would study the effect it would have on an unsuspecting male coed. Or at least that is what she told me ... I believe she just thinks that she is hilarious when she does it, providing her hours of good entertainment.
Fast forward about ten years. I am a college student again. We live close enough to the school that I attend that, as long as the weather cooperates, I ride my bike to class. One such day about a week ago, I left for class and was trudging up the hill leading from our house to the community exit, when I heard a surprising but familiar chant of "Hey big daddy! Want a house call?" from somewhere over my right shoulder.
It was funny, well timed and took me back to a time when life was just beginning ... but it has also produced this:
This is a recording from the car ride leaving church on Sunday. The phrase that is being uttered is "Hey big daddy! Want a house call?" You are probably asking yourself, where in the world would our kids have been exposed to a saying like that. For that, I have to take you back to my college days.
My wife Julie was a psychology major in a speech communication major body. She attempted to reverse the paradigm of men hooting and hollering from a construction site or car window in the direction of an attractive woman. She did this by using the phrase, "Hey big daddy! Want a house call?" yelled from a car window she would study the effect it would have on an unsuspecting male coed. Or at least that is what she told me ... I believe she just thinks that she is hilarious when she does it, providing her hours of good entertainment.
Fast forward about ten years. I am a college student again. We live close enough to the school that I attend that, as long as the weather cooperates, I ride my bike to class. One such day about a week ago, I left for class and was trudging up the hill leading from our house to the community exit, when I heard a surprising but familiar chant of "Hey big daddy! Want a house call?" from somewhere over my right shoulder.
It was funny, well timed and took me back to a time when life was just beginning ... but it has also produced this:
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Twin Tuesday part 1
Grammy and Pop-pop are in for a visit for a few days. Today we went to Sports Authority and A.C. Moore to pick up a few things (yes I had to go to the craft store). After leaving Sports Authority, Grammy walked Zoe, Zane and Zadie to A.C. Moore while Zach and I went back in to Sports Authority to scour the store for the sunglasses Zane apparently sat down somewhere inside. We didn't find them.
The story that I want to tell was relayed to me by Grammy and occurred on their sojourn from Sports Authority over to the craft store (I have taken the liberty of putting the story into my own words).
While we were walking, we saw a bug that looked a lot like a dragon fly, resting on the sidewalk. Zane was hunched down looking at the bug, saying hi, and really examining it. Zoe walked up, took a quick look at the bug and proceeded to step on it, killing it in cold blood. Zane paused, thought about the senseless killing that unfolded in front of him and responded by telling the bug "that's alright, you be okay". Zoe in her sweetest most delicate tone, soothed her grieving brother by chanting "no, he's dead, he's dead" and continues her trek toward the craft store.
The story that I want to tell was relayed to me by Grammy and occurred on their sojourn from Sports Authority over to the craft store (I have taken the liberty of putting the story into my own words).
While we were walking, we saw a bug that looked a lot like a dragon fly, resting on the sidewalk. Zane was hunched down looking at the bug, saying hi, and really examining it. Zoe walked up, took a quick look at the bug and proceeded to step on it, killing it in cold blood. Zane paused, thought about the senseless killing that unfolded in front of him and responded by telling the bug "that's alright, you be okay". Zoe in her sweetest most delicate tone, soothed her grieving brother by chanting "no, he's dead, he's dead" and continues her trek toward the craft store.
Meandering Monday: volume 1
Meandering Monday is a revival of my first blog attempt ramblingsofacommonman.blogspot.com where I write about current events, everyday occurrences, random thoughts, etc.
I don't know what to say about the spill in the Gulf. A horrible, horrible catastrophe that we will feel the impact of for a long time.
But I do know that a lot of people are going to use this as a springboard to diminish our use of fossil fuels (crude oil). When we think of uses for crude oil, the primary use that comes to mind is gasoline used for cars. But its uses also include Lubricants (oils and greases), propane, wax (like the ones used in frozen food packages), sulfur, tar, asphalt, plastics, polymers, solvents, chemicals, etc, etc, etc. What I am trying to say is, you may be drive a Chevy Volt, but the car body is made of oil, the road you are driving on is made of oil (asphalt), the oil for the engine is made of, well, oil, the stop light you wait at is made of oil (plastic), the cell phone you are texting on while driving is made from oil, the drive-thru speaker you speak into is made from oil, and on and on and on.
Before we look to demonize an entire industry for an accident (an accident of an unprecedented magnitude, but yet still an accident) think about what it could mean for our own lives. I know I didn't like it when gas was $4.30 a gallon. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. The products that we have become so accustomed to, that have become staples in everyday life (cell phones, laptops, cars, trains, planes, food packaging, cleaning supplies, the keyboard I am typing on now) would not be possible without that gooey mess that is spewing into the Gulf of Mexico.
Do companies need to better regulate themselves? Absolutely! Should we explore ways to limit our dependence on oil? Yes! Should we jump to make wholesale changes to an industry that impacts our lives more than we could probably fathom? I do not think so.
I don't know what to say about the spill in the Gulf. A horrible, horrible catastrophe that we will feel the impact of for a long time.
But I do know that a lot of people are going to use this as a springboard to diminish our use of fossil fuels (crude oil). When we think of uses for crude oil, the primary use that comes to mind is gasoline used for cars. But its uses also include Lubricants (oils and greases), propane, wax (like the ones used in frozen food packages), sulfur, tar, asphalt, plastics, polymers, solvents, chemicals, etc, etc, etc. What I am trying to say is, you may be drive a Chevy Volt, but the car body is made of oil, the road you are driving on is made of oil (asphalt), the oil for the engine is made of, well, oil, the stop light you wait at is made of oil (plastic), the cell phone you are texting on while driving is made from oil, the drive-thru speaker you speak into is made from oil, and on and on and on.
Before we look to demonize an entire industry for an accident (an accident of an unprecedented magnitude, but yet still an accident) think about what it could mean for our own lives. I know I didn't like it when gas was $4.30 a gallon. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. The products that we have become so accustomed to, that have become staples in everyday life (cell phones, laptops, cars, trains, planes, food packaging, cleaning supplies, the keyboard I am typing on now) would not be possible without that gooey mess that is spewing into the Gulf of Mexico.
Do companies need to better regulate themselves? Absolutely! Should we explore ways to limit our dependence on oil? Yes! Should we jump to make wholesale changes to an industry that impacts our lives more than we could probably fathom? I do not think so.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Sound-off Sunday: episode 1
Sound-off Sunday is a concept that I came up during an abnormally loud car ride. The shear volume of the car would have probably cause a normal person to lose their mind, but I realize that it is just part of the soundtrack of our lives. Each Sunday I will share with you an audio recording that will allow you a window into our chaos.
This recording was from a short car trip to Target. The picture does not match the audio (just one that I liked), but it does feature the two main players in the audio recording (Zach and Zane)
This recording was from a short car trip to Target. The picture does not match the audio (just one that I liked), but it does feature the two main players in the audio recording (Zach and Zane)
I was barely unpacked
I have been finding it hard to blog lately. I could blame it on time. I started my class, four kids to take care of, housework, homework, etc. I could blame it on being tired. Seems like most days it is a sprint from 7am (or earlier) to 9pm (or later). I wasn't able to put my finger on a reason why something that was coming so easy, now was so difficult. Then my brilliant wife said 5 words that helped shed some light on a possible reason why. "The honeymoon has worn off".
When I first began as a stay at home dad everything was fresh and exciting. I was seeing the kids through newly opened eyes. Spending all day with them brought me so much time for me to observe and explore their individual personalities. But the newness wore off and everyday life settled in, and somewhere along the way, I have forgotten to pay attention.
The "honeymoon" wearing off is a quite common occurrence for any new situation. It happens with new jobs, new houses and new relationships to name a few. This phenomenon gives me pause though. Why can't we just be content? Why does the newness and wonder wear off?
Have you ever met someone in their 40's, 50's or older who is working on their 3rd degree, masters, Phd? They have spent their life learning. They are constantly educating themselves in new fields, experiencing new insights and points of view. A lot of us look at those types of people as a bit crazy; we were just happy to make it through our schooling unscathed and with bright job prospects on the horizon. But I think they just may be on to something. Maybe learning, keeping your mind active, gaining knowledge is the secret to remaining youthful. Look into the eyes of a child when they are encountering something new. You see wonderment, intrigue, excitement, fear, questions, wanting, and on and on. New experiences for a child requires all the senses. They want to see, hear, touch, smell and sometimes unfortunately, taste every new adventure. So maybe the secret to remaining youthful is act as if you are youthful (flying in the face of the old adage, "act your age")
There is a line from a song, "the more I see, the less I know." There is so much to see and learn in the world. We have all only just scratched the surface. There is so much we can see and learn from books, experiences, traveling and interacting with the people right around us. Life can be tiring and stressful. We all have our reasons why we end up wading in the mundane. But we need to pay attention, to experience the joys that are all around us.
I am in the process of retraining myself to do this. I am going to start theme days for my blog to re-energize myself and force me to pay more attention. I have not come up with themes for all of the days, but I do have a few. I have Wordless Wednesday (which a lot of bloggers use), a day when you use pictures to tell a story (or more accurately, a picture that prompts the reader to derive their own story). Sound-off Sunday will give the readers a window into the soundtrack of my life (I have one that I will post later). Twin Tuesday will be stories past and present that show the trials, tribulations and triumphs involved with raising twins. The last that I have assigned will be Meandering Monday, which is somewhat a revival of my first blog attempt ramblingsofacommonman.blogspot.com where I write about current events, everyday occurrences, random thoughts, etc.
I will entertain other suggestions on theme days. Any suggestion must include a corny name like the ones I have come up with above.
Just a note: When I write things like this, they are not written into the direction of anyone but me. I use the term "we" for literary purposes.
When I first began as a stay at home dad everything was fresh and exciting. I was seeing the kids through newly opened eyes. Spending all day with them brought me so much time for me to observe and explore their individual personalities. But the newness wore off and everyday life settled in, and somewhere along the way, I have forgotten to pay attention.
The "honeymoon" wearing off is a quite common occurrence for any new situation. It happens with new jobs, new houses and new relationships to name a few. This phenomenon gives me pause though. Why can't we just be content? Why does the newness and wonder wear off?
Have you ever met someone in their 40's, 50's or older who is working on their 3rd degree, masters, Phd? They have spent their life learning. They are constantly educating themselves in new fields, experiencing new insights and points of view. A lot of us look at those types of people as a bit crazy; we were just happy to make it through our schooling unscathed and with bright job prospects on the horizon. But I think they just may be on to something. Maybe learning, keeping your mind active, gaining knowledge is the secret to remaining youthful. Look into the eyes of a child when they are encountering something new. You see wonderment, intrigue, excitement, fear, questions, wanting, and on and on. New experiences for a child requires all the senses. They want to see, hear, touch, smell and sometimes unfortunately, taste every new adventure. So maybe the secret to remaining youthful is act as if you are youthful (flying in the face of the old adage, "act your age")
There is a line from a song, "the more I see, the less I know." There is so much to see and learn in the world. We have all only just scratched the surface. There is so much we can see and learn from books, experiences, traveling and interacting with the people right around us. Life can be tiring and stressful. We all have our reasons why we end up wading in the mundane. But we need to pay attention, to experience the joys that are all around us.
I am in the process of retraining myself to do this. I am going to start theme days for my blog to re-energize myself and force me to pay more attention. I have not come up with themes for all of the days, but I do have a few. I have Wordless Wednesday (which a lot of bloggers use), a day when you use pictures to tell a story (or more accurately, a picture that prompts the reader to derive their own story). Sound-off Sunday will give the readers a window into the soundtrack of my life (I have one that I will post later). Twin Tuesday will be stories past and present that show the trials, tribulations and triumphs involved with raising twins. The last that I have assigned will be Meandering Monday, which is somewhat a revival of my first blog attempt ramblingsofacommonman.blogspot.com where I write about current events, everyday occurrences, random thoughts, etc.
I will entertain other suggestions on theme days. Any suggestion must include a corny name like the ones I have come up with above.
Just a note: When I write things like this, they are not written into the direction of anyone but me. I use the term "we" for literary purposes.
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