Growing Up

My children are all in various stages of establishing independence. We now trust Zack to do things like pick up the baby, hold Zoe and Zane's hand while crossing the street, and watch all the kids while Julie and I go out for a quiet dinner.(One of those statements are false, but I will let you guess which one)

Zoe and Zane are fighting tooth and nail for their independence. Zane on occasion recently decides that he is too big to wear a diaper. He will very quietly take it off and go about playing. Luckily I usually see this before we have a problem, but sometimes I see the puddle, before I see his bare but streak by. Don't quite know how to handle this, scolding and punishment has not worked. I have been considering duct tape, or possibly employing the old dog training technique of rubbing his nose ... better not finish that sentence or my wife may have words for me.

Zoe has figured out her God given skill that all little girls possess; working their parents by using a series of smiles, pouts and panicked desperation. Now that I think about it, my wife has the same power over me.

I figure the first sign of independence we will see from Zadie will be rolling over. We have learned our lesson though, we don't allow Zadie to lie on her back without being chained down somehow. Three sets of feet scampering around is quite enough for the time being.

To be serious for a second though, a few things that Zack did today really stood out. We installed the pole for a new basketball hoop in the driveway today and Zack actually helped. I will always let him "help" and I enjoy that quality time, but things usually take twice as long, finding things he could "help" with. Today he was wielding a shovel like he has been doing it for years.

Then tonight at basketball practice, I saw him have multiple conversations with his coach. When watching from a distance you can tell that he feels what he is saying is important and the coach responds to him not as a little kid, but as a young man, capable of higher forms of dialogue.

It is cliche, but they do grow up fast. We spend the first years encouraging them to roll-over, crawl, walk, talk, run, count and on and on. But then one day they are 7 and while you still encourage them, it is different. Instead of counting to ten, it is multiplying by tens, instead of learning to throw, it is how to lead a receiver open down the field. We are building on the basic skills, which seems less monumental than when they learned the skill in the first place.

It will only get harder as they get older, dating, driving, going to college, marriage, children of their own. I can understand why parents long for their children to be small again. Now I know why parents of 20 and 30 somethings can not wait for grand kids.

It is probably not a big secret that Julie and I love babies. Babies are easy to stay engaged with because they seemingly grow a little every day. The challenge is to stay engaged for all seasons of your child's life. If not you will wake up, like I feel as though I have recently, and wonder how your baby is now 7 and wonder if you paid enough attention along the way.